Explanations and Expectations
by bridgetlynn
Summary: Puck's been avoiding Rachel to protect her from the pain of Shelby being back. He doesn't want to potentially lose his friend because one of the worst moments of her life has led to one of the best moments of his. Rachel's quick to set him straight.


**Disclaimer:** Ryan Murphy et. al. owns them, I just take them out to play 'cause most of the time I think he's tossing them under buses for his own amusement. I promise, I give them back when I'm done.** Spoiler: 3x02 - I Am Unicorn  
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**Prompt:** Puck is freaking out about Quinn's plans about Beth, but he doesn't want to hurt Rachel with talk of Shelby. She can tell he is upset and helps him. - PuckRachel Drabble Meme on LJ by enchantedrose80

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><p>"Noah?"<p>

Puck's head shot up as he was startled out of his silent contemplation and he quickly forced a smile onto his face as his eyes connected with Rachel's. She was standing a few feet away from him in the back of the darkened auditorium, staring at him with an expression she only wore when she was sincerely concerned.

"What are you doing in here?" she asked him very quietly and he tried smiling brighter as she took the seat next to him.

"Just, avoiding class?"

"It's almost four Noah. School's been out for an hour. Try again."

He cursed internally as she called him out on his, admittedly feeble, excuse. Rather then trying to think up any other reason that he had hidden himself away in the back corner of the auditorium after school, on a day they didn't have Glee, he just shrugged and waited for her inevitable monologue.

"You've been avoiding _me_," she stated seconds later, obviously recognizing that he wasn't going to talk. "I'd ask why, but I think I have a pretty good idea."

"Haven't been avoiding you," he mumbled quickly and shaking his head in the negative. "I've just been busy, with school and stuff."

"And stuff huh?"

His lips quirked slightly at the sardonic lilt her voice had taken; trust Rachel Berry to be the one person who was able to call him on his shit. He briefly wondered what life would be like if she let others see this side of her and then immediately pushed the thought away; this was _his_ Rachel. Even Finn didn't get to see the more unpolished side of her.

"Yea, and stuff. Things have been a little crazy the last week or so," he elaborated slightly still thinking of any way out of this conversation; because she was right, he had been avoiding her. He hated doing it, but he wasn't about to dump the shit storm his life had become over the last week and a half into her lap.

Even if she was normally the person he went to. This time he knew he shouldn't. He wasn't _that_ much of an asshole.

"Okay," Rachel finally exhaled the word, having waited almost a full five minutes for him to tell her what was going on. "If you won't talk, then I will."

"Now that's shocking," he shot back, giving himself a mental high five for realizing that if he acted like enough of a dick she'd probably get fed up and leave things alone for at least another day.

"That's not going to work this time Noah," she reprimanded him and he tried to ignore the shiver that ran down his spine when she used her hand to gently turn his face towards her. "I know that Shelby showing up in Lima must be difficult for you and I want you to understand that if you need to talk I'm more then willing to listen. You don't need to avoid me, I won't force you to talk about it."

At those words he almost laughed; because, Shelby showing up in Lima was possibly one of the _best_ things that had ever happened to _him_. She thought he was upset because of _that_?

He'd never understand why people would call this girl selfish. Solos, performing, the spotlight? Okay, fine, she had a bit of a shark in her. But anything else? How did they not realize that she'd step in front of a bullet for them.

"I'm not upset that Shelby's here Rach," he replied softly, carefully searching her eyes and wincing when he saw the barely perceptible flinch. "Well, not in the way you think," he amended quickly. "I'm glad she's here; fuck, I'm thrilled. But _only_ because I get to see my daughter."

"Okay, so...if you're not upset by Shelby being here and essentially yanking the rug out from underneath you and undoing everything you've worked to move past over the last year then why are you avoiding me?"

Noah sighed and reached down to squeeze her hand tightly in his as he replied, "Because of what you just said. Because Shelby showing up did everything you just said to me...to you. And she wouldn't have done that if I wasn't here. I don't want you to blame me."

"Noah, no," Rachel immediately denied. "No. I would never, _ever_, put our friendship over your potential relationship with your daughter. If I have to put on my big girl pants and suck it up that Shelby's here, I am more then happy to do that. If only so that you can be involved in Beth's life. I don't want Beth to feel like I do...or did. Or, well, you know. I'm usually more articulate then this."

Noah chuckled, surprised at how dark it sounded and dropped his head back to stare at the ceiling he could barely see. A heavy exhale of air left his lungs and he asked a question that had been bothering him since he first saw Shelby a week earlier, "Do you think it's possible to be completely grateful to someone for one single thing and still, really dislike them for everything else?"

"Yes," Rachel answered immediately and with such certainty that Noah cocked an eyebrow for an explanation. "I'm assuming you're talking about Shelby?"

"Yea."

"Good, 'cause that's my person too," she explained. "On one hand, she hurt me so badly, whether it be inadvertent or not, at the end of sophomore year that I don't know if I could ever forgive her. On the other hand, she gave birth to me. I mean, how do you really fully condemn the person who gave you life? Without her I wouldn't be breathing, so that's a point in her favor at least. She's also going to make sure that Beth has the best life possible. She's going to have an adult who can provide for her financially and emotionally and she's letting you and Quinn into Beth's life as well. That little girl will have the best of both world's Noah."

"Why can't you forgive her?" he asked, hoping she didn't notice his own flinch at Quinn's name.

Rachel was silent and a glance at her expression told him she was carefully choosing her words, something she rarely did. He only had to wait a few more seconds before she began speaking, "Ironically, that topic hasn't been decided completely yet. My animosity, for lack of a better word, towards Shelby at present has to do with the situation with Beth. I don't blame you Noah, not at all, but it's hard to accept the fact that the very reason I can see the good in Shelby is also the reason I can't forgive her."

"She didn't come back to Lima for you," he whispered, completely understanding where she was coming from. That same reason had been the prompt for his own question. He couldn't understand how a woman could be so wonderful with _his_ daughter and so oblivious when it came to her _own_ flesh and blood. "I'm sorry Rach."

"Don't be Noah. I told you the truth, I would never begrudge you a relationship with your child. Sometimes I just wish that Shelby had let things alone, waited until I was 18 and then maybe, we could have formed a friendship. But she came into my life and proclaimed herself "Mom" when I was only fifteen years old and basically ran screaming from me and insisting that she wasn't my mother."

"Do you think she's going to change her mind?"

"About me? Or about you and Beth?"

"Either, both," he replied nervously and watched as Rachel worried her bottom lip with her teeth.

"I don't pretend to know Shelby Noah," she finally responded, again obviously choosing her words before speaking. "But, I'd like to think she realizes the mistakes she made with me and that she's trying to correct them with you and Quinn, but I really don't know."

"She does," Noah responded. "She told Quinn."

Rachel snorted a laugh and rolled her eyes, "Of course she told Quinn. She showed up at my rehearsal, spouted a bunch of stuff about becoming a star and playing things safe and left. But Quinn she tells her deepest regrets to. I suppose she convinced Quinn to lose the puck rock barbie look too?"

"Something like that," Noah mumbled, realizing he had probably just done what he had been trying to avoid doing for a week and a half. "I didn't mean to, like, make you feel worse."

"I know you didn't," Rachel reassured him. "Shelby and I will probably never have a healthy relationship and I blame her for it. Not you, not even Quinn. Definitely not Beth. She just kept me as an infant in her mind and couldn't deal with the fact that I was fifteen."

"And way more likely to get famous," Noah added, poking her slightly with his elbow and smiling when she laughed slightly before they both fell silent again, letting the darkness of the auditorium wash over them.

"Noah?"

"Yea?"

"If she does change her mind you need to realize it isn't your fault. If she changes her mind it's her loss and she'll be depriving Beth of knowing the wonderful person that her father is and the even more amazing man he's going to be."

"Thanks Rach," Noah whispered. "She's an idiot for giving up with you."

"I know," she replied simply. "Why are you so worried about her changing her mind anyway? Mr. Schue's been tailing after me the last few days, he keeps asking if I'm alright with Shelby being here and all the time she's been spending with Quinn. I'm sort of scared of him. It's the most concern he's shown me, well, ever."

"Shelby's spending time with Quinn?" he asked, choking the words out because this was definitely news to him.

"You didn't know?" she asked in surprise.

"No, I definitely didn't. Last I heard, Shelby wasn't even letting Quinn see Beth yet. Apparently Shelby can see through a quick bleach job and wardrobe change easier then Schue and the rest of the Gleeks can."

"Oh, huh," Rachel seemed confused and at a loss for words and Noah just felt his own anxiety raise even further. The fact that he clenched his fists at the news alerted Rachel that something was up as well; probably because their hands were still entwined, but he wasn't going to think about _that _potential issue yet. Talk about a whole other can of worms. "What's wrong?"

He noticed that this time the question was asked in such a way that he knew he couldn't ignore it. Rachel could read him like an open book and when she got that honest concern over one of her friends she was like a dog with a bone about it.

"Quinn told me we're going to get full custody of Beth," he told her in a rush of words and watched as Rachel's jaw dropped open and her eyes widened. It was almost amusing if not for the reason.

"She...what?"

"So you see why I'm suddenly worried about Shelby changing her mind."

"Noah! You have to tell Shelby. The woman might not be my favorite," Rachel began rambling and then stopped in the middle of her sentence to study him. "Noah? You aren't considering this are you?"

The silence that followed her question spoke volumes.

"I don't know," he finally answered as honestly as he could. "She's my daughter; but, I know it's a very, very bad idea. I just can't help but, I don't know."

"Noah, you can't," Rachel whispered. "I know you were devastated when you had to give her up, but it was the best choice for everyone involved. You can be a good Dad to Beth without having custody. In fact, and don't hate me for saying this, you can be a _better_ Dad to Beth without having custody."

"How could you say that?" he asked incredulously.

"Because without custody you can go to college, you can get a good job, you can do so much more then you could if you try and get custody of a one year old at the age of eighteen. And please, do _not_ get me started on Quinn as someone's mother. Give it a week and the novelty would wear off. You said it yourself, she hasn't even _seen_ Beth yet. Can you picture Quinn Fabray actually caring for a helpless child, giving up everything for Beth?"

Noah considered Rachel's words and had to swallow hard at the scenario's he imagined. Quinn's declaration had torn him in two; he wanted his daughter so badly...but he also saw how ridiculous the idea was.

"Quinn needs help," Rachel continued, studying his expression as she talked. "She spent the first year of her daughter's life pretending that Beth didn't exist. You dealt with it and moved forward Noah. Quinn didn't."

"I wound up in Juvie."

"Yes. You did," she agreed quickly. "And then you went to counciling and got your grades up and are thinking about college. Quinn went back to making people's lives miserable so she didn't have to acknowledge that she hates herself."

"Quinn? Hate herself? Yea right."

"Trust me Noah, Quinn Fabray despises herself," Rachel insisted. "Only someone that unhappy and desperate for attention would act the way she does. Like knows like after all."

"You don't hate yourself Rach."

"Some days I do," she told him, the honesty in her voice shocking him. "But the difference between Quinn and I is that I know I only have a few more months until I start to work towards what I want. I've got loving parents who taught me how to cope with things in a, well, mostly healthy way. Quinn's got a bastard for a father and a lush for a mother. She doesn't know any better."

"So I need to tell Shelby?"

"Yes; because, if Quinn tries to pull this off? Shelby will change her mind so fast your head will spin."

"How do I know she won't just take off after I tell her?"

"You don't," Rachel answered, shrugging. "But I think if you're up front about it, let her know you have no intention of helping Quinn and just want to be in Beth's life then you'll be okay. And besides, where else is Shelby going to go other then back to New York?"

"She said she didn't want to miss the important things in Beth's life and that's why she came here," he stated. "I doubt she'd go back to New York if she left Lima."

"Please," Rachel laughed. "If she wasn't sticking around here to give Beth a chance to know her birth parents then New York is the only other place she'd be. She told me once I was just like her when she was my age."

"So, I guess that means that those schools in New York I've been looking at are probably my best bet huh?"

"I guess so," Rachel agreed with a tight smile. "Too bad Finn isn't as easy to convince about college in New York."

Noah was grateful that he managed to not roll his eyes at that statement; it went with that other can of worms he didn't want to open yet. At least not until he sorted things out with Shelby about Beth and Quinn's recent descent into apparent insanity.

"Do you want me to go with you to talk to Shelby?" Rachel's voice broke in on his thoughts and a quick glance at her face told him there was only one correct answer to that question.

"No, it'll be alright. I can do it."

"Alright. If you're sure," she whispered, but he noticed the relief on her face at the same time.

"I'm sure," he responded, smiling and squeezing her hand again.

The avoiding might not have worked but he had other ways to protect Rachel from things; stepping up and being a man about the situation was one of them. He might lose his daughter, again, in the process but Rachel was right. He would be a better Dad to Beth by being slightly on the outskirts of her life then fully integrated in it. He never wanted to see the expressions he had seen on Rachel's face whenever Shelby's was mentioned cross his daughter's.

And perhaps, by being that kind of Dad to Beth, he'd also help to mend another relationship that could have been so much more had secrets and expectations not gotten in the way of things.

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><p><strong>AN:** Quinn's...well...batshit lately. Ignoring the sheer ridiculousness of thinking she'd actually win that legal battle the girl is absolutely deep in the throws of postpartum depression (albeit written badly). I saw the prompt, I wrote it as I saw fit. It might have rambled off the tracks a bit, but I think it stuck to the subject matter necessary. I disliked, a lot, how Shelby kept rambling on about Rachel to Quinn and yet the only person who thought of how Shelby showing up in Lima might effect Rachel was Schue (and of course, he also gave Quinn an epic smackdown so he won points from me for the first time in 3 seasons). I thought a little conversation between our two favorite hot jews was warranted. As always, in my head!canon these two are actually pretty decent friends - my head!canon ignores the random odd times Puck is nasty to Rachel post-Mash Up 'cause they're fewer then the times he's nice.


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